Last week was rough. On Monday, I found myself confronted with the news that one of my friends has breast cancer. The news was dire, the cancer aggressive. She is young, vibrant and beautiful. Her sister, who is a dear friend of mine, was due to give birth to a baby last week (a healthy baby boy was born on Friday). She has two young daughters and a wonderful husband.
News like this shows just how fragile life is. After I got the news, I panicked inside. So, I followed my instincts. I immediately ran to take my friend and her sister some hospitality. When I returned home, I went to seclusion and began worrying. For two days, I worried. My tummy hurt, I had trouble thinking of anything other than death. In my defense, it didn't help that Elizabeth Edwards died the same day I found out about my friend.
And then I started praying. I'm sure God was wondering why it took me so long:) The peace was slow coming but I was out walking my dog when it came with a bang.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your path."
I've said the verse many times before this but it has never had such an impact on me. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" means, trust God, stop thinking you can change His plan.
In all your ways acknowledge Him" means don't spend two days worrying about something. Acknowledge Him RIGHT AWAY and "He will direct your path." If He is directing my path, then I don't need to worry about trying to control my life. God controls it and I'm a lot better off acquiescing to that fact sooner than later because my worry is just a waste of energy.
And seeing death as a bad thing is also a waste of energy. I will die. My husband and children will die. My mother will die. You will die. It's just a matter of when. What we do with our lives is important, whether we have 100 years or 5 years. Will my children see me worrying or trusting God?
Whew, I feel better. It doesn't change the pain that comes with life. But it changes the way I choose to react.