We have a rule follower on our hands. Our daughter, ERH, follows the rules and always immediately confesses when she messes up. The trouble is she wants everyone else to follow the rules too. Last night she came home and said she'd told her teacher about another student who "stuck both her hands in the eggs. gross." I immediately shuddered. Rule following is one thing but imposing yourself on others and then telling when they mess up is another.
So we had to have "the talk" about friendship and the line between allowing friends to make mistakes without telling but not allowing friends to hurt us. I explained that it is important to tell the teacher if something happens that hurts someone else. But, for little things that don't matter as much, she may want to just leave the scene if she feels the urge to tell the teacher.
This parenting thing is not easy. My goodness, I am exhausted just thinking about it. I honestly don't know what I am doing.
The secret is that no parent knows what they're doing. We all wing it, because children don't come with an instruction manual. We all depend on each other - our parents, family and friends - to guide us. You are an amazing mother and you already have the best tool for parenting - a warm and loving heart! Hang in there! ERH is a treasure and remember children (and spouses) are why hair color companies are in business!
Posted by: Barb | January 31, 2012 at 10:30 AM
Oldest children are totally rule followers, aren't they? I still struggle with this myself at times. Currently I have Henry telling me things Grant is up to (sometimes I'm thankful, but I do try to remind him that it sounds more like GRANT'S PROBLEM...) Good luck and hang in there! A fine line to walk between being a "tattle tale" and being helpful. :)
Posted by: Charlotte | January 31, 2012 at 12:01 PM
Barb, I miss you SO MUCH!!! Thank you for encouraging me. I love you. Charlotte, it must be a first born thing:) I'm glad I am not alone.
Posted by: Maria | February 02, 2012 at 05:25 PM