Beautiful Life

Changes

 

I have been thinking for quite some time about either closing up this little blog or changing the focus.  I still love all of the things I've ever loved however; I am finding that the purpose for the next phase of my life is different from what I have been doing.

My youngest will be in all-day kindergarten next year.  I feel bittersweet about it.  I have been mothering full-time for nearly 8 years.  All of a sudden, I will be mothering part-time. From 8-3 they will be gone at school. This frees up my schedule quite a bit.  I could take the Iowa bar exam and practice law, I could find a job in another field, I could do nothing, I could volunteer, etc.  

But after praying about it for 6 months, I feel confident that I will probably spend my free time teaching women's Bible studies.  I know some of you are rolling your eyes.  I rolled my eyes when I first thought about it.  I am not perfect.  I have not always cared about what God wanted for my life.  If you and I were friends in college and law school, you would attest to this. But that is part of what I love about my faith.  I don't need to be perfect, just willing. My life is real and I want to share it.

I have found that my legal education helps as I study the Bible.  I love researching and chewing on scripture until I feel content that I understand what it says. Applying those concepts is not always easy but I love the challenge.  If life were easy, we would all be bored.

I get lost in time when I study.  I could read all day, every day, if only the kids didn't need a chauffer, laundry didn't need to be done, meals didn't need to be made and the house cleaned itself. 

Teaching is new to me.  Greg encouraged me to try it because he thought I had the personality for it.  He is a wonderful, popular teacher, so I trust him. I taught my first Bible study last summer. I found it to be exhilarating.  I felt like I was "home," if that makes any sense.  It came naturally to me, the ladies devoured it and I realized I could do it full-time for the rest of my life and be totally fulfilled. I get to pray earnestly, research intently, think deeply and then communicate honestly. 

Of course, it doesn't pay, LOL.  I will be driving a Honda for the rest of my life. And I am okay with that.

So, I am contemplating the purpose of this blog.  I've read many books lately that I would love to share with you.  I've studied the Bible a lot; I would love to share that too.  The blog will always have a personal element because I love sharing my life with you.  But I will be transitioning my focus.  I hope that you will find it interesting and honest.  

Thank you for reading, friends,  

Love, Maria

PS I have now lost nearly 25 pounds! I need to take a photo of myself but I can't find my camera.  It's around the house somewhere.  Anyone else ever lose things? 

Writing Blues

I have not felt like writing.  There are so many things going on.  The house continues to come along.  The kids continue to grow.  We have family events (we love being close to our parents and extended families). Our dog is as cute as ever.  I found a new tea that is fantastic. Etc, etc, etc.  

But then there is the hard stuff, the real tough stuff.  Friends hurt.  K struggles with her cancer.  K's mother-in-law is in ICU dying.  Another blogger was pregnant with quad girls and 3 have passed away.  My husband's cousin-in-law lost her 45 year old brother to melanoma. The list goes on and on.

And the wind goes out of my sails.

Home building and tea suddenly seem meaningless and prayer and supplication are the only way to survive each day.  Yes, I believe holding tight to Jesus is the only way to survive each moment, good or bad, but sometimes in the really dark days, all I can do is pray.  Blogging is hard. Yet today I was reminded that my hurting friends enjoy reading about tea and home building because it feels normal and takes them away from pain for a moment.  

And so I'll write on, even if it's with a heavy heart some days.  I am just so thankful for faith, family and all of you sweet friends.  

With love, 

Maria

Opportunity

I've had an amazing week.  Late last week, I had the opportunity to talk to my friend, Kristen, who has stage 4 cancer. With her hope fading, I spoke with her about my faith and how it is what sustains me through both the good times and the tough times.  She wanted to hear more.  Then her sister and I spoke and she wanted to hear more too.  So, I booked a flight to see them and tell them more.  In the meantime, I got calls from others about the situation, wanting to know about my hope in Christ.  To say I felt humbled is not enough.  I felt and continue to feel so small yet I know God can do anything.

I was able to fly in on Tuesday to spend time with my friends.  I told them the Gospel, that God hates sin (sin is anything that we do apart from Him, for our own pleasure), that God sent his Son, Jesus, to die to forgive us of our sin. And that if we believe in Him, we can have eternal life.  Thankfully, God allowed me to present that huge amount of information in a loving and very non-confrontational way.  I just told them my own story.  My friends were baffled.  They had NEVER heard the Gospel before.  They both said they were interested but not ready to believe. They asked tons of questions and will continue to ask questions as they process everything.  I left them with the book "Heaven is for Real." (if you haven't read it, you should.  it's a very easy read without any intellectual, hard to understand thoughts). 

I was also able to meet up with some other friends who know Kristen.  As they greive for what Kristen is going through, they are asking "why."  That is a very good question.  I don't know why.  But I told them that God has a plan for each of our lives.  I told them stories of friends and family who've been through terrible situations but God has used their pain and restored them with huge blessings.  They all wanted to know more so I shared the Gospel with them.  As we conversed, one of them looked at me and said "I believe." She has been thinking about faith more lately and she just decided it was time.  

God truely is amazing.  He led my family to live in the neighborhood, where we met Kristen and all of these other ladies.  And he allowed us all to keep in touch after we moved away.  He worked this whole trip out.  He allowed me to hang out (and drink way too much tea) and love on these ladies.  And I was able to share faith with them.  He gave me my sweet husband who took three days off of work so that I could go do this.  

I can't wait to see what God has in store for the future.

Good Friday

 

I still can not get over the fact that Jesus died for me.  I don't deserve it.  I am just a hot mess most of the time. But He loved me that much.  And He loves you that much too.  No matter where you are today.  No matter what you've done. Jesus loves you and He died for you too.  

 

A Love That Will Not Let Me Go

It has been a good start to the week but I am exhausted.  We have a lot going on right now and I feel overwhelmed.  I am so thankful that I have my faith to get me through long days.  Today I listened to this hymn and it uplifted me so I thought I would share it with you.  The song is beautiful if you haven't heard it. I highly recommend this version. BEAUTIFUL.  It is amazing how much God loves all of us.

O Love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

George Matheson, 1882

Welcoming 2011

I am welcoming 2011 with open arms.  Each new year brings new hope of changing all in our lives we want to change.  Sky is the limit.  My prayer for the year is that I will choose to change what I need to change, to let go of what I must let go of, to fear nothing but God and to be disciplined in all things.

I wish you the best in 2011

Happy New Year Sweet Friends

Trust in the Lord

(the family tree 2010)

Last week was rough.  On Monday, I found myself confronted with the news that one of my friends has breast cancer. The news was dire, the cancer aggressive.  She is young, vibrant and beautiful.  Her sister, who is a dear friend of mine, was due to give birth to a baby last week (a healthy baby boy was born on Friday). She has two young daughters and a wonderful husband.  

News like this shows just how fragile life is.  After I got the news, I panicked inside.  So, I followed my instincts.  I immediately ran to take my friend and her sister some hospitality.  When I returned home, I went to seclusion and began worrying.   For two days, I worried.  My tummy hurt, I had trouble thinking of anything other than death.  In my defense, it didn't help that Elizabeth Edwards died the same day I found out about my friend. 

And then I started praying.  I'm sure God was wondering why it took me so long:)  The peace was slow coming but I was out walking my dog when it came with a bang. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your path."  

I've said the verse many times before this but it has never had such an impact on me.  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" means, trust God, stop thinking you can change His plan.  

In all your ways acknowledge Him" means don't spend two days worrying about something. Acknowledge Him RIGHT AWAY and "He will direct your path."  If He is directing my path, then I don't need to worry about trying to control my life.  God controls it and I'm a lot better off acquiescing to that fact sooner than later because my worry is just a waste of energy.

And seeing death as a bad thing is also a waste of energy.  I will die.  My husband and children will die. My mother will die. You will die.  It's just a matter of when.  What we do with our lives is important, whether we have 100 years or 5 years.  Will my children see me worrying or trusting God?  

Whew, I feel better.  It doesn't change the pain that comes with life.  But it changes the way I choose to react.

Proverbs 11

(As a side note - I will post Thanksgiving recipes later this morning for you all:)

Proverbs is one of those books that is SO CONVICTING for me.  Each morning I read one chapter and reflect on it.  It's a great way to start out my day.  

This morning I read Proverbs 11 and then sat praying for forgiveness and for wisdom. It was just so powerful.  I thought I would share what stuck out and convicted me.

1.  When pride comes, in comes dishonor - how often I find pride sneaking into my life, thinking my choices are better than others, etc. Lord help me.

2.  Humility = wisdom - if we want to be wise we must be humble

3.  The integrity of the upright man will guide him  - when anything but goodness guides us, we need to beg God for help.  I find myself begging for help quite often.

4.  A man of understanding KEEPS SILENT!!! - instead of talking about people when they hurt our feelings, we are to talk to God about it.  This is not in my attorney nature or my female nature.  My flesh always wants to go after people who are mean or who I think have wronged me.  

5.  He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets but he who is trustworthy conceals a matter - when someone tells us something, we are to keep it to ourselves and not spread it.  This one is hard for women:) We are to be trustworthy in everything.

6.  A gracious woman attains honor - I love the word gracious.  It just sounds beautiful and lovely and is everything I pray to be.  But it's easier said than done.  To be truly gracious, we must be self-disciplined.

7.  The descendants of the righteous will be delivered - How amazing is it that even the descendants of a righteous person will be blessed.  Amazing.

8.  The desire of the righteous is only good - when our desires are not good, we need to examine ourselves and ask God to help us.

9.  The generous man will be prosperous - keeping our gifts to ourselves is never a good option, even if we would rather redecorate than tithe or volunteer or give to a good cause.

10. The foolish will be the servant to the wise-hearted - wisdom keeps us away from all sorts of pain.